I am in the year for my father who passed away, am i aloud to participate in the shabbos meal at the aufruph {shabbos before the wedding}

Answer

An Avel during the shivah:

A man who is an Avel during the shivah may got to shul to participate in the Aliyah LaTorah of the Chassan if his absence would be noticeable, but may not stay for the se’udah afterwards, unless it is his son who is the Chassan (in which case his absence will definitely be noticeable, and will constitute Aveilus in public, which is forbidden on Shabbos). In places where women do not usually go to shul, a woman who is an Aveilah during the shivah should not go to the Aufruf at all (unless she is the mother of the Chassan or Kallah, and her absence would be noticeable, as above).

An Avel after the shivah, during the year of Aveilus for a parent, or during 30 days for another relative

He may got to shul and participate in the kiddush as well (unless his absence would go completely unnoticed). As for the following se’udah , he may stay if his absence would be noticed. Some rule that he should not attend if the se’udah is taking place in a Simchah hall.

It is worthwhile referring each individual circumstance to a Rav for a definitive ruling.

וצריך כל פעם הכרעה של מורה הוראה [עי’ נטעי גבריאל אבילות ח”ב פרק כח, חיי משה (כללי המצוות מהדו”ח עמ’ רצז), נשמת ישראל (ח”ב סי’ כו) הרבה פרטי דינים בזה].

Tags: avelus Yoreh Deah

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