On the Chavis Daas’s Veses Beinonis, i.e. day 31, must one abstain from all negiah, chibbuk v’nishuk, and tashmish, or just tashmish?
Answer:
Even with regard to day 30, the principle halachah is that one must refrain from actual marital relations, and not from other physical expressions of closeness (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 184:2). However, poskim write that one should refrain from these expressions (chibuk and nishuk) (see Shulchan Aruch Harav 184:6). Because it is an extra chumra, even those who are careful to refraim from chibuk and nishuk on a regular onah would not be required to do so on day 31.
Yet, it should be noted that several poskim mention the need to refrain from physical closeness on days when one must refrain from actual marital relations for fear of expending zera levatalah (see Pardes Rimonim 184, Sifsei Chacham 6 and mikshah zahav 3, which is quoted by a number of poskim; see also Mekor Chaim 240 who adds the concern that a person will come to kishui). A person knows himself the best, and if there is any fear of this happening, then one should of course refrain from physical closeness even on day 31.
What about chibuk v’nishuk while she is tehora that may lead to the emission of some zera? Even prior to tashmish some zera escapes that is lost.
The moisture released prior to yoreh kechetz (ejaculation) is not considered hotzaas zera, and one need not be concerned that such moisture be released during chibuk and nishuk. Indeed, Chazal write that one must be careful to show affection (appease) one’s wife before relations, and chibuk venishuk is surely the means. However, if one is able to reach a full emission of zera, one must take whatever precautions are necessary.
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