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Saying a Prayer at Cremation Ceremony

I am aware that cremation is prohibited by halacha. Unfortunately, a close relative of mine (who is Jewish) was cremated. There will be an unveiling next week and his wife wants me to say a prayer at the unveiling. My question is am I permitted to say a prayer. If I am permitted to say a prayer what prayer can I say?

Answer:

This is a difficult question.

Cremation is a very grave offence in Jewish law (please see here), and speaking/saying a prayer at the ceremony will give it a certain legitimacy.

On the other hand, I understand that it is hard to back out of a sincere request to say a prayer to Hashem.

If you do take up the offer, I would mention as an introduction that cremation is not permitted in Jewish law, and perhaps a sentence or two about the reasons for it. Though surely uncomfortable, this introduction is required, and as an observant participant, I hope that it will be accepted with understanding by participants.

You could then say that “together with this, our prayer is the the soul of the departed should find rest,” and speak of the positive qualities and deeds that will bring him, in spite of the unfortunate decision to have his body created, his portion in the world to come (for Hashem is a true Judge, and no goodness goes unnoticed; you could mention some of the teachings of Chazal concerning this point).

I wish you luck in this difficult situation.

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