I am 18 years and have many questions about the existence of G-D. (I believe in G-D and the Torah but my deeper questions about how G-D exists often leads me to question certain fundamental beliefs in Judaism). I do not, Chas V’Shalom, reject those beliefs, but I often find myself searching for answers in order to strengthen and solidify my Yir’at Shamayim. On that note, I was wondering if I could study books such as Moreh Nevucim, or other similar books, or if I should wait until I reach an older age and have learned a certain amount of Torah before beginning to study deep subjects such as these?
Don’t be ashamed or intimidated by the fact that you have questions. It is part of the natural process of getting serious about life and about what you are doing with yourself. We should read books that strengthen our emuna, and gain clarity in these topics. We should gain a clarity regarding how G-d relates to us in this world, and how we see His existence in this world. However there are certain questions that we are not allowed to delve into about G-d. We are not allowed to think are G-d’s existence before the world was created, what is above or below the entire universe.
The reason for this is simply because the human mind, cannot grasp concepts that are totally foreign to us. For example, we cannot explain a beautiful garden of flowers, and the difference between the various shades of the flowers to a person that is blind from birth. He never came into contact with such things and he can’t understand them. It is the same with us humans. We can’t understand certain concepts about G-D’s existence in a world that we cannot grasp. Humans in a physical body and environment cannot understand concepts that are totally spiritual, at a time when physical things didn’t yet exist. Aside from this, it really isn’t important for us to know about G-d’s existence at that point, what we have to know is our relationship with Him in this world.
I would suggest that you learn Derech H-shem, and at a later stage to learn Daas Tevunos, from Ramchal.
Tractate Chagiga 11b