Question:

During 3 weeks may a jew give a birthday present to avoid offending a close family member, such as flowers for a grandmother or something small for a child’s birthday?

If one is given a birthday present himself, may he accept it? is there a difference between 3 weeks, 9 days, week of tisha bav?

Answer:

During the three weeks and during the nine days we may give a small present, however not on T’bav itself, because it is considered like shailas shalom.

Sources:

M:B 554-41, that on T’bav we cannot give presents, this would imply that during the nine days it would be permitted, see Kovetz M’bais Halevi 13 pg.24, Kara Olei MOed pg. 50, However a big present should not be given during the nine days because it would be like transactions of simcha, See Kovetz Halachos (R’ S. Kaminetzsky shlit”a) Bein Hamitzrim 12-9.

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