Question:

Is it true that who you are – Is who you’ll tend to get? Or could it be the opposite? Your good and you’ll get bad or that’s not possible. Also after graduating school, theirs this feeling of emptiness – like for instance: work, cook, clean, and on repeat. Is this the feeling of emptiness, because my second half hasn’t been found yet? Because this sudden emptiness, I’m having a hard time in defining its true meaning.

Thanks!

Answer:

Who we get for a soul mate is a bit complicated, but in general, our soul mate is predetermined in heaven even before we were born. The gemorah says that 40 days before the formation of a child a bas-kol goes out of heaven, and says “the daughter of X will marry Y”. There are many different reasons why heaven would want a certain person to marry another. One of them is that according to Jewish tradition every person is sent to this world to accomplish certain things, and very often we are going to be matched to help us accomplish that job.

Yes it is true that before a person finds his/her soul mate they will have a feeling of emptiness because their soul is missing something very important. I can give you some suggestions that might help you. First of all, try to find meaning and significance in the things that you do in your life. For example, by finding meaning in prayer, and developing a relationship with G-d, you will find meaning, closeness, and in a way companionship. There are a number of books on prayer that can help you with this. One quick suggestion would be “Praying with Fire”. It is the same with any one of our mitzvoth. Shabbos, making brachot, birkat hamazon, mezuzah, torah study; they are all rich in meaning and significance. We only have to study it a little bit from the correct sources to uncover just a little bit of the tremendous wealth that we have in keeping the mitzvot. They are all packed with deep meaning, because Judaism and all of its parts are full of meaning, and by connecting to it in a deeper way may help you a lot.

Another way to bring fulfillment into your life is by giving to other people, by doing chesed to others. there are many organizations that can use volunteers, it is very satisfying to be able to give to others.

May H-shem help you find you soul mate, and you should be able to build a Bayit Neenam B’yisroel.

 

Tags: Marriage shidduch

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