Is there a benefit to:
1 – trying to keep cholov yisroel when I can and it’s up to me – since my wife does the cooking and shopping and she’s not on board?
2 – minimizing carrying using the communities eruv as many of the rabbanim or yungerleit don’t use it – we are a young family who go out on Shabbos which involves strollers and baby items?
Regarding using cholov yisoel it is a definite preference to use it, however regarding the eruv, I can’t give an opinion as I don’t know the situation, and what the issue with the local eruv is. In general it is beneficial to try to keep the higher standard even though you can’t keep it all the time, the same way it is beneficial to eat healthy foods even you can’t eat them all the time. You do what you can under the circumstances, and you do the best you can in each individual situation.
On the other hand whenever a person wants to do something that is more l’chatchila, he always has to take other people into account, so that his following a more stringent approach should not cause him to be lenient regarding bein adom l’chaveiro. If it going to bother your wife or inconvenience her, and she doesn’t like it, you have to take that into consideration and not do the chumra when it negatively affects her. You can be stringent if you want, but not at other people’s expense.