Question:
I am in Avelus for my mother a”h, my wifes nephew is getting married, what is my halacha for the weddings, eating at kabalos Ponim, staying for chupa, and wedding itself?
Answer:
Since you are in aveilus essentially you are not allowed to attend the wedding since wedding bring one to simcha. Although the happiness of the parents of the chosson will be diminished, it would only be permitted if it will diminish the simcha of the chosson himself. You may however attend the kabolas ponim provided that there isn’t music being played in the room. When you are there you may have some of the light refreshments, such as drink salads You can attend the chupah if it is in a different room than the meal, and only when there isn’t music being played. You shouldn’t attend the meal.
Best Wishes
Sources:
Shevet Halevi 6-219 (4), Nishmas Yisroel chap. 19-13, Tziyunei Halacha pg. 513, Hilchos Aveilus (R’ S. B. Cohen) pg. 209-210.
Yasher koach for the Answer, One more question Please, As I wrote to the Rov I am in Avaluos of my mother, my Nephew (wife’s nephew) is getting married, I went to the Auf f Ruf as it would be Avaluos Befrahesa, I was today invited to this Shabbos Sheva brochos which is not in my area, as the other side is making the Sheva brochos may I go
It is hard to give you a definitive answer, because it depends on the situation. The general rule is that if it would appear to be a public display of aveilus then it would be allowed on shabbos. Although I can’t say definitively, but the fact that it is the other side that is making the sheva brachos, coupled with the fact that it is on the other side of town, it would appear that it would not look obvious if you would not attend.
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