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Who Gets the Shadchanus Money?


I would appreciate if you can give me an answer. I don’t know whom to ask. My son B recently got engaged and a few people are claiming that they deserve to get paid as Shadchan.This is the story: The girl works with somebody by the name of Frankel* and she kept on nudging a Shadchan a women by the name of Dershowitz to find a shidגuch for (our kallah) Devoiry. But Dershowitz kept on saying that she does not deal with these types of girls. Finally she said that she will give this name do a friend Kaufman goes goes to a shadichim group and deals with these types of girls. Mrs. Kaufman by chance called my sister in law Perl to discuss something. While talking my sister in law asked Mrs. Kaufman, you do shadichim, maybe you have a girl for my nephew Yossi. Mrs. Kaufman replied that Mrs. Dershowitz just mentioned to her a name, Devoiry, I don’t know anything about her but you can call Dershowitz and ask her. So Perl called Dershowitz and she saidI also don’t know anything about the girl but you can call Mrs. Frankel. So Mrs. Perl called Mrs. Frankel and discussed the girl and it seemed liked a good match and a meeting was arranged between Devoiry and my son and the rest is history. Now all of these women claim that they deserved to get paid shadchunis. My question is who really deserved to get paid and how much? Solomon

*Names changed


Assuming that Mrs Frankel actually contacted the girl (or her parents) to put the suggestion to her, and Mrs Perl contacted the boy (or his parents) to suggest this shidduch, Mrs Frankel, who suggested and gave information about the girl, and Mrs Perl, who suggested and gave information about the boy, share the Shadchanus, half each.

All those in between did not serve as shadchanim but merely passed on a name.

As with all the answers given on this site, this answer should not be construed as a Psak Din, since both sides have not been given an opportunity to give their side of the story, and so the answer given is for general guidance only. If the others feel that they deserve some shadchanus, they should approach a Dayan or Beis Din together with the parents, for a definitive ruling.

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