If one is keeping the 1st half of the omer then if your invited to a wedding before rosh chodesh, can one go or is he required to rather keep the second half?
Answer:
It is permitted to go to the wedding, and you do not have to keep the second half of the Omer. According to some authorities one should not participate in the dancing and celebrations.
Sources: Iggros Moshe (Orach Chaim 1:159; 2:95; Even Ha'ezer 1:97) writes in a number of places that if the family making the wedding do so be-heiter (with halachic permission, for example if they keep the second half of the Omer), it is permitted for anyone to participate, even those who keep the first half of the Omer. Others are stringent (see Minchas Yitzchak 4:84), and some write that one may 'drop in,' but should avoid participating in the celebrations (Rav Wosner, Mibeis Halevi, Vol. 1, p. 56).
Does the same apply to Bar Mitzvas? If you are going to one in the Omer do you have to make sure to keep the "other" half of the omer? Many thanks
Yes, the same idea will apply to bar-mitzvas; a person's participation does not obligate him to keep that particular half of the omer. Only the family making the bar-mitzvah (if they wish to do so with music/dancing) must ensure that they do so be-heiter (meaning that they are keeping the 'other' half of the Omer).
If I observe the second minhag am I allowed to attend
a wedding on Memorial Day of this year, 5774.
It appears that there are contemporary Gedolai Haposkim(in NYC) who have stated that Ashkanazim do not make weddings until after Rosh Chodesh Sivan.
This is certainly true. Ashkenazi custom is not to make weddings throughout the Omer. However, if somebody else is making a wedding it is permitted, according to many opinions, to participate in it. This is even though the person involved has the custom of not making a wedding in this time.
Best wishes.
With the Greatest Respect for Your Scholarship, please listen to the 13 minute Shiur , YU Torah On Line 4/27/14, concerning weddings after Lag Baomer, which is towards the end of the shiur.
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