To Donate Click Here

Physical Contact Before Marriage

Shalom Rabbi,
I’m going out with some guy for about 9 months. Couple days ago he said that he loves me and wants to get married. I love him too and I was happy that we have the same feelings. He is more observing than me and we were shomrim negiha. But when he told me about his feelings we couldn’t resist and hugged and kissed each other. I’m so afraid now that it will affect our future relationship and our future generation. (By the way he is Cohen so it makes me feel even worse)
My question is, how bad is by Jewish law whatever we did and is there some way we can correct the situation. I love him very much and I don’t want to take any bracha from him by touching him before marriage.
Thank you very much. I’m looking forward to your answer.


Physical contact of an intimate nature is not permitted before marriage. However, we’re all human, and we all slip up sometimes. The fact that you “slipped up” once is not a reason to fear for the future, and you can certainly “correct the situation” by avoiding physical contact for the coming time, until the wedding (the other ingredients for teshuvah are regretting the deed, and confessing it; you’ve basically done these already).

Please G-d, you’ll have a loving, warm, and intimate relationship for many years to come, and now you only need to wait the relatively short time until your marriage. Be strong in doing so, and doubtless Hashem will bless your union.

The fact that he’s a Cohen does not make any difference for this matter, and there’s no reason that your future union and children should be in any way affected.

Good luck and best wishes.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *