I have seen families where the husband on shabbos cuts the challah and eats a piece and then sends the tray of challa down the table to the wife and then the family takes the challa 1 by 1 from oldest to youngest. Is this custom a problem of passing up mitzvos? Shouldn’t one try to eat the bread a soon as possible as well? Or does the concept of honoring the wife and older siblings take precedent over passing up the challa? Is there any halachik problem with passing up the challa or does ein maaveerim al hamitzvos apply to mitzvos and not challa on shabbos?
Answer:
According to a number of poskim, the principle of ein ma’aveerim al ha-mitzvos does apply to the challah that one eats from.
This principle emerges from the Bach (274), who asks how one is permitted to cut specifically the bottom challah on Friday night — for surely this implies passing over the top challah. The Taz ruled by the Taz responds that the bottom challah should be placed closer to the person than the top challah, thereby ensuring that the top challah is not ‘passed over.’
According to the Beis Yosef, who does not mention the problem of ein ma’aveerim, it is possible that there is no problem, because the two challos are not equal: For whatever reason, the bottom challah is particularly suited for the Friday night meal, and therefore this is the challah that must be taken (there is room to discuss this logic with regard to tefillin, and so on).
However, concerning the sliced challah that is passed round the table, there is no concern of passing over mitzvos, because there is a designated order of people (oldest to youngest), and when one person “passes over” a slice of challah, he is not passing over his challah, but somebody else’s challah. Because the challah is not designated for him, there is no issue of passing over mitzvos — just as one does not pass over mitzvos when one passed by somebody else’s lulav without taking it.
