My husband’s aunt gave money to my son for his birthday. We were told that it comes from her and not from her husband. We were told to thank her alone. This has actually happened in the past, but this time we realized that maybe we should ask if we are allowed to take the money. From what I know of the situation, the aunt is more generous than her husband and they disagree on how much to give, if any. The aunt doesn’t work, and as far as I know the money comes from her husband’s work. Is it considered stolen money?
Before we realized to ask if we can have the money, I told my son he could use the money and he bought himself a big fire truck, expensive.
Have we done wrong?
If the Rav thinks the money should not be taken there is a problem because the aunt would be livid with anger and insult, which would be a family uproar. The way it is done is that the money is given to Avraham’s Father and he puts it in our American account. The second problem would be that we already spent a large portion of the money.
Many thanks for sharing your daas Torah.
Answer:
If they are reasonably well-off individuals, as they appear to be, one can assume that for relatively small amounts of money (even if for those less well-off they are significant), there is no kepeidah between husband and wife.
There are discrepencies in generosity among many couples, but the general assumption is that one permits the other to spend or give away “relatively small” amounts without consulting the other. This is all the more so in this case, where it is possible that permission was given (though the gift came from her, and not from him), and this cannot be found out.
Therefore, no action needs to be taken.
Best wishes.
