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Giving Snacks to Neighbors’ Kids


1. Clients sign a contract stating they will be charged for a session that they fail to show up to if they did not cancel 24 hours in advance. A client asked for a reminder call saying he would forget and the clinic responded that they would try (but cannot gaurantee). It is not a clinic policy to give reminder calls. The clinic did not remind him, and he forgot to show up. Should he be charged? It would not cause machlokes since he always pays whatever the clinic says. It is more a matter of honesty and intregrity on the part of the clinic.

2. My kids have friends over and expect us to supply the friends with snacks, treats etc. These are not play dates invited for tea. It is friends popping over in the neighbourhood. Also neighbours playing out in the parking lot ask for drinks since we live on entry level. What does hachnassas orchim require in these contexts both for the mitzvah and for the chinuch? It gets expensive and we as parents shop for our family’s needs, not for everyone else’s. We have BH 6 kids and they all bring friends in…that is alot of drinks, ices, snacks. These friends and neighbours will not starve if we will not provide, they will just go home and eat or drink there, or they will wait till supper.

3. My husband would prefer I sleep in only my underwear instead of a tzanua nightdress in order to be cool without using air conditionning at night which he finds a great financial burden. Is this too much of a compromise of tznius or is it good for shalom bayis? What should I do?

Many thanks


1. In the clinic policy is that clients who don’t show up must pay, you have the right to charge him the full fee, and there is no need to feel bad about this. Having said this, because the clinic forgot to remind him, it would be right to come towards him at least to some degree, and to forgo part of the sum.

2. There is no formal mitzvah of hachnasas orchim here. Nobody is “needy,” and nobody will go hungry. For purposes of chinuch, it is important not to be “stingy,” but children can understand that ices etc. are expensive, and not for friends. Friends can be politely offered a glass of water, and the occasionally cookie.

3. You can sleep in your underwear if you are covered with a sheet. However, this can lead to trouble when waking up for the kids etc., and it is certainly better to wear a nightgown. Perhaps it will be sufficient to turn the AC on for the beginning of the night.

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