If a couple were to be in a place where going to the mikva would cause embarrassment. Lets say on a Friday night were extended family is present, can the mikva be pushed off to Saturday night if there is mutual consent between the husband and wife?
Answer:
Shalom!
On the one hand it is best not to delay going to the mikva. Although we do not rule that there is tevilah bizmanah today, it remains lechatchilah to go at the first possible opportunity. The principle reason given for this is given is the purpose of piryah ve-reviah (Yoreh De’ah 197), but poskim do not generally make the distinction between those who already have children and those who don’t.
Another reason poskim mention is for the fulfillment of mitzvah onah (mentioned by the Shach 197:3).
Yet, on the other hand the Rema sees revealing the mikva night to others as a stringent matter (Yoreh De’ah, end of 198).
Although we find a precedent for postponing the tevilah in Mahari Asad (317), he refers to a case where the tevilah will become known to the entire town, and not to a case of guests, in-laws, and so on.
For a case of guests, the Shevet Halevi (Vol. 5, no. 118) writes that one should nonetheless go to the mikva, trying to hide the tevilah and to give excuses as best as possible. See also Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:510.
Yet, this remains something of a person matter, and where the fulfillment of mitzvas onah will be flawed due to the pressure/embarrassment involved, it will be better to postpone to after Shabbos.
Kind regards and best wishes.
