My daughter is now BH divorced. One of the main reasons she needed one was the boy could not consummate the marriage as he has some type of medical problem.
Did my daughter really need a get or is this considered a מקח טעות?
Also, does she have to cover her hair as she is still a virgin? Also, if the parents knew that he had a problem, did they have to say anything, and if so, do they owe me money for all the wedding, pain and embarrassment?
I do not plan to take them to Beis din, as that was the condition they would give a get, but I still would like to know the Halacha . Thanks
Answer:
This story is very disturbing.
If the parents were aware of the problem they surely had a moral and halachic obligation to tell you about it, and it is very unfortunate that you and your daughter were not told. I prefer to leave aside the question of the money, because one must hear both sides of the story to answer this; it is possible, however, that you would have a right to claim back the wedding expenses.
Concerning the question of mekach ta’us, this very much depends on the precise nature of the problem (though it sounds severe), and on what your daughter did upon finding out about it (also, you write “one of the main reasons,” which sounds like the story is a little more complex).
There is certainly a possibility that this is a mekach ta’us, and that the get was not required according to the strict halachah, but this is a complex issue that requires further investigation.
If it should be important for some halachic reason (for instance marrying a Kohen), you should be in touch again with more details.
In general, in order to avoid complications you should avoid prospective shidduchim with Kohanim.
For the question of covering hair, this is a delicate issue. According to the Bach (Even Ha-Ezer 21), and the Chelkas Mechokek (and Beis Shmuel) who cite his ruling, it appears that a woman who is still a virgin does not need to cover her hair, even after being married. However, other authorities dispute this (see Perishah; Dagul Mervavah; Rabbi Akiva Eiger citing from Mahari Ha-Levi), though Shut Yehoshua (89) sides at length with the lenient view, and this is also the view of the Yeshu’os Yaakov (21). See also Shut Shevus Yaakov (1:21) who is lenient, based on Even Ha-Ezer 67.
Therefore, if it is important for your daughter, and in particular in view of the possibility that the marriage is a mekach ta’us, there is room for leniency in this matter.
Best wishes, and I hope that your daughter will speedily find joy in a warm and stable marriage.
