I am a thirteen year old girl and find that I strongly value modesty and conservatism. I have been considering hair covering for the past year out of modesty and conservatism but know it is not required of me until I am married. Is it reasonable and acceptable for me to cover my hair, even though I am not married, or would I be sending the wrong message to my community? My family lives in a rural community and we do not have a synagogue close for me to attend or a local Rabbi for me to ask. Please help guide me through this decision.
Answer:
Your connection to values of modesty is to be deeply commended.
In a society that glamorizes superficiality, and finds little space for the subtleties of modesty and the value of inner beauty that is not displayed for all to see, you must be a special individual to realize these virtues.
Yet, although there is room for individual expressions of modesty, it is possible that covering your hair at this stage will send the “wrong” message to family and community, because today the only communities where girls cover their hair are Muslim communities.
In Jewish (and other conservative) communities modesty (for unmarried girls) is achieved without the specific concept of hair covering, and hair can be kept “modest” by keeping it to reasonable length and not leaving it open.
Commendations once more for your positive attitude, and wishing you much success for the future.
