Shalom Rav
I live in Ramot Bet Shemesh Israel. I come from St. Louis MO and I remember all the rabbi’s (which very very frum and pious people learning in kollel for 30-40 years straight) had families over for shabbos, both non religious, in the process and those that were always religious.
Upon coming to Israel, at least the city I live in, I have noticed that the very religious don’t really have guests, if they do, it’s extremely limited.
I’m assuming it’s because of tzinus reasons. I want to know what the present day big poskim have to say about this subject.
And what if I invited a family over for shabbos and the women were on 1 end of the table and men on other, so practically I’m not speaking at all with the women anyway, would that make a difference?
2nd Q:
I have a 15 year old boy, is it inappropriate to invite seminary girls as guests (whether to sleep or to eat)?
I thank you for your time answering my questions.
I’m literally going through every Q&A on your site spending several hours a day reading, this is great stuff and I’m learning a lot of things I had no clue about.
Answer:
Thanks for being on our readership, and sorry for the short delay in replying!
1) The main difference in “guest-habits” between here and the US (in general, and St. Louis in particular) is a difference in mentality and social framework rather than a difference of halachic practice. Outside Israel we are used to strong and centralized community structures, around which much Jewish communal activity revolves. This is not quite the case in Israel, where the “community” is often less central.
Put in other words, Jews in St. Louis are special in their Jewishness; Jews in Israel are just regular people, Jews like everyone else!
This difference has a number of ramifications, among them the issue of inviting guests. However, inviting guests is wonderful (in particular where guests are in need of a warm house, and also for forming close community ties), and many people in Israel as well as abroad do so regularly. You should not feel “out of place” in inviting others to your Shabbos table.
Some are perhaps careful not to invite families for reasons of modesty, and there is something in this approach when both families are young newlyweds; however, for the most part and for most people this is not a central consideration in inviting guests.
2) Concerning inviting sem girls, this is something of a personal matter, and will depend on the family structure, what you son is used to, and so on. There is a difference between a fifteen-year-old and a twenty-year-old, and there are no hard and fast rules on this matter. You know your son best, and the question is whether inviting girls will “disturb” him in a negative sense or not.
Best wishes.
