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Parent Limiting Mitzvah Performance

While someone is not supposed to listen to their parents if they tell him to violate commandments of the Torah, what would happen if the parents demanded the performance of mitzvos in specific/restricted circumstances.


a.(if living in their house) The parent says “no tefillin or Torah study in this house, if you want to do it, do it elsewhere” can tefillin or Torah Study can be performed in the house? Will different circumstances affect the ruling?

b: the parent says “I forbid you to go (a specific community) for shabbos.” Can the son still go to that community?


The wish of a parent that a son should not wear Tefillin or study Torah at home does not actually contravene the Torah. Although skewed, the instruction does not diminish from the performance of the mitzvah, because the son can put on Tefillin outside and stay out of the house for Torah study.

Because the home belongs to the parent, and for want of avoiding conflict, a son should heed the instructions, while demonstrating his total dedication to Torah and mitzvos, in the hope that the parent will ultimately understand and retract.

A parent can’t “forbid” his son from attending a community, and the correct course of action will depend on how important it is to attend, and how the relationship with the parent will be affected.

Please see our article here on the subject (of heeding parental requests that don’t directly involve the parent).

Best wishes.

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