One of the Pesukim listing the children of Yaakov who descended with him to Egypt mentions the sons of Asher, and adds “their sister Serach” (46:17). Although this verse doesn’t state it explicitly, we find elsewhere (Bamidbar 26:46) that Serach was Asher’s daughter.
The Ramban (Bamidbar 26:46) explains why the Pasuk in Bereishis only notes Serach as the sister of his sons: “Serach was only Asher’s stepdaughter. However, since he raised her, people called her Asher’s daughter.”
We see here that although Serach was not a biological child of Asher, she is nonetheless referred to by the verse as being Asher’s child because he raised her. This provides us with an important introduction to the concept of adoption, which we will discuss in this article.
Is there a mitzvah to adopt a child? What are the guidelines for converting a non-Jewish child to Judaism? Is there a Yichud issue with an adopted child? Is he considered family for aveilus and for honoring his parents? These questions, among others, are discussed below.
Mitzvah of Adoption
We find in the Gemara that there is great virtue in raising a Jewish orphan and bringing him or her to adulthood and independence. Thus, the Gemara writes (Megillah 13a; Sanhedrin 19b), “One who raises an orphan in his home, is considered as though he gives birth to him.”
The Chazon Yechezkel (Introduction to Yevamos) explains: “Even those whom Hashem has not granted children, are not denied the spiritual values of marital life in procreation and populating the world. The effort of raising an orphaned child at home is parallel to the pain of childbirth… thus each couple can participate in the building of the next generation and take a part in the eternity of the Jewish People.”
Based on a number of sources, the Yaavatz writes (She’elas Yaavatz 1:165), “This does not apply only to an orphan, but is true even if the child has biological parents, yet another brings him up for the sake of a mitzvah… it is considered as though he gives birth to him, literally.”
Adopting a Jewish orphan, or child whose parents are unable to care for him, is thus certainly a great mitzvah. In fact, Rav Shlomo Kluger (Chochmas Shlomo Even HaEzer 1:1) even notes that according to some, the mitzvah of procreation (peru urvu) can be accomplished by means of adoption – though this position is not held by other halachic authorities.
Origin of the Child
The choice between adopting a Jewish or non-Jewish child can be difficult, since each of the two has advantages and disadvantages.
Theoretically, a Jewish child seems preferable because of the great mitzvah of raising a Jewish child whose parents are unable to cater for his needs, or who may otherwise not have a Jewish home (see Iggros Moshe, Yoreh De’ah 162, who underscores the difference between adopting a Jewish and non-Jewish child).
In practice, however, it sometimes proves difficult to verify the lineage (yichus) of a child, in which case unforeseen problems may arise concerning his future entry into a Jewish marriage. [Another concern, which has Talmudic basis, is the possibility that a child of unknown lineage might end up marrying his own relative.] Before adopting a Jewish child, it is therefore very important to investigate the child’s family background, in order to clarify his yichus.
This problem does not exist for a non-Jewish child. At the time of adoption the child undergoes conversion, which allows him to marry any person permitted to wed a convert. The drawback of course is that the child must be told of his conversion when he or she reaches the age of maturity (thirteen for a boy and twelve for a girl). At that time, the child is given the option to reject the earlier conversion, which took place without his consent.
Should the child choose to reject the conversion, he would be a non-Jew (retroactively). This is not usually an issue, because having received a Jewish upbringing, and being part of a loving Jewish home and a member of Jewish society, a child will usually choose to confirm the conversion, and retain his status as a Jew. However, the choice remains his (see Shut Iggros Moshe, Yoreh De’ah 1:161-162; Kisvei Harav Henkin 2:86; Rav Moshe notes another option in adoption of making a legal purchase of the child as an eved kenaani, and later releasing him. He remains with a doubt if this is a possibility.). It should be noted that Rav Moshe concludes by stating that his advice is against adopting non-Jews because we aren’t interested in converting non-Jews.
Matters of Naming
Abaye was orphaned of both parents at birth, and was raised by Raba bar Nachmeni his uncle. Although his uncle called him by the name of Abaye (which is an acronym for the words Asher Becha Yerucham Yatom), the Gemara often calls him by the name bar Nachmeni – the son of Nachmeni (see Shabbos 33a, 74a, among others).
This indicates that an adopted child is named after his adoptive father – a principle that is part of Israeli law (and the law of most countries), whereby an adopted child takes on the family name of his adoptive family.
The question is whether this principle holds true even for calling a person up to the Torah, or for a get and other legal documents. The Maharam of Rotenberg (Levov edition, no. 242) addressed a case in which a couple instructed that a certain sum should be given to their “son,” where in fact the son was a biological child of the mother alone. Maharam rules that because somebody who raises an orphan is considered his true father, it is perfectly appropriate that he should be called his son. This suggests – though the proof can be deferred – that even in legal documents, an adopted child is named after his adoptive father.
According to several Poskim, this is the correct approach for calling a person up to the Torah, and this approach appears to emerge for a ruling of the Chasam Sofer (Even HaEzer 76; see also Midrash Shemos Rabbah, end of Chap. 46).
Even for a Get document, some authorities rule that if an adopted child is named as the son of his adoptive father, the Get is valid (on a bedieved level; see Amira Ne’imah 124; Even Meir on Gittin, p. XIII-X; Shut Mayim Chaim no. 62). Concerning an adopted child who was converted, Rav Moshe (Shut Iggros Moshe, Yoreh De’ah 1:161; see also Even HaEzer 1:99) ruled that the child can be called up to the Torah as the son of his adoptive father.
Although it remains lechatchila to note a person’s biological father in a Get document (this will depend on specific circumstances, and might change if the name has been completely forgotten), for calling up to the Torah, and where an element of shame for the adopted child is involved, it seems permissible to use the adoptive father’s name (but see Shut Minchas Yitzchak 4:49; 5:46; 6:151, who prohibits this practice).
If the father or the child is a Kohen, the matter will of course become more complicated, and in any event a competent halachic authority should be consulted.
A Member of the Family?
One of the question most frequently raised in the context of adopted children is the question of their halachic family status. This is of special relevance to the issues of yichud (seclusion) with adoptive parents and siblings, and to hugging and kissing adopted children. Are adopted children considered actual children for these purposes (so that no prohibition of yichud will apply); or are they not considered as actual family members (so that the prohibition will apply)?
Some halachic authorities forbid close physical contact with adopted children (see Devar Halachah 7:20, citing the Chazon Ish; Shut Minchas Yitzchak 4:49; 9:140; Shut Shevet haLevi 5:205; 6:196; Nishmas Avraham Vol. 5, p. 134). According to this view, adopted children have the same halachic status as everyone else, and close physical contact is therefore a grave prohibition. Likewise, one must be wary of seclusion (yichud) with an adopted child, and this might even be more stringent than yichud with a stranger, on account of the closeness between the parent and the adopted child.
However, there is a more lenient view among Poskim, whereby when a child is adopted at a young age, we assume that a basic father-daughter or mother-son relationship has developed between them, and that there is therefore no concern for any illicit relations between them. Based on this premise, there is no halachic reason to restrict the parents from treating their adopted children as their own, both for purposes of hugging and kissing, and for purposes of yichud.
This lenient opinion is upheld by Shut Tzitz Eliezer (6:40-21; 7:44, 45), and noted by a number of other authorities (see Yalkut Yosef, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch p. 975; Asei Lecha Rav 3:39). Even those who rely on this view do so for adoptive parents alone, since this is of concrete importance in facilitating adoption, and in enabling children to find good, Jewish homes. It is not relied upon for yichud and close physical contact between adopted siblings.
Rav Moshe Feinstein (Shut Iggros Moshe, Even HaEzer 4:64-2; see also Even HaEzer 4:71) is also lenient concerning yichud with adopted children, but for a different reason and under specific circumstances. Rav Moshe reasons that an adoptive father would never dare to commit an illicit act with his adoptive daughter, for fear of being found out by his wife upon her return home. Therefore, he permits yichud with an adoptive child (or stepchild) at home, provided that both adoptive parents are currently married and living together in one home.
Rav Moshe also justifies the practice of a parent hugging and kissing an adopted child, since this is done as any parent does to their child, without raising concerns about illicit relations.
The Limitations of Adoption
Whereas a legal adoption can sever the ties between a child and his biological parents, the halachic concept of adoption stops short of this. In halachah an adoptive parent gains a certain status vis-à-vis his adopted child, yet he does not gain a full blood connection. This is reserved exclusively for biological parents. Halachah does not recognize a change of parenthood.
Therefore, when a biological parent passes away, his or her children must mourn for her as for every parent, even if they have been adopted by another family. By contrast, although it is correct for an adopted child to mourn over his adoptive parents, this is not a full obligation, and the adopted child must put on Tefillin even on the first day of mourning (even when it is the day the deceased passed away and was buried), when a regular mourner would not wear Tefillin (see Shut Rema, no. 118).
Likewise, although an adopted son should say Kaddish for his adoptive parent, the Chasam Sofer (Orach Chaim 164) rules that Kaddish recited by a true son for the adoptive parent takes precedence. Certainly (as the Chasam Sofer writes), the adopted child must honor his adoptive parents. As they raised him, they are considered parents to a certain extent. And yet, there remains a difference between parents by adoption, and parents by birth.
