A shidduch was suggested for my daughter, which sounds perfect. But, someone pointed out a possible problem that my wife’s name is Sarah Hitzel (called Suri) and the boys mother’s name is Sarah (called Sarah). Can we go into this shidduch or not?
Answer:
Yes, the shidduch may be pursued.
Sources:
There are varying customs with regards to the Tzaava of Rav Yehuda Hachasid, the source for this custom. Many are not careful to follow his directives and assume like the opinion of the Noda Beyehuda [79] that they were intended for his offspring alone and not the general public. Even for those who are careful this would only be if the names are identical. In this case the names are different, and they are called differently as well, so there would be no concern. In addition, the concern of not having a mother in law/daughter in law or father in law/ son in law is more widely considered. However even more are lenient with regards to 2 mother in laws having the same name. They hold that Rav Yehuda Hachasid may never have intended this rule, rather that 2 people with the same should not make wedding son the same day, separately. Others accept various leniencies such as: minor variation in names, if they live in different cities this does not apply, or if one of the mechutanim is deceased.
