My wife has an Mirena IUD for almost 6 months & is still having problems with staining. When she stains on colored is it necessary to abstain from tashmish? What are the guidelines for this?
On a day when there is a stain the size of 1-2 pennies or more from mid day and on, one should abstain from tashmish for that night.
This is a general guideline and not an exact science, in a case of doubt or extenuating circumstances a Rav should be consulted, as other factors may effect this pask. Such as how close to her period she is, the color of the stain and other considerations.
Is the reason for abstaining because of a concern of “roeh machmas tashmish” wouldn’t that be resolved by just not looking?
there are still potential issues:
1 even if one tries not to look, often they will see the blood anyway [in the bathroom etc.]
2 she may feel herself bleeding which would require her to check
Thank you. After abstaining e.g. Wed night due to earlier Wed staining, does she have to check her underwear on Thurs before resuming tashmish Thurs night or can she avoid looking (unless she feels moisture etc…)
she is not obligated to check, but as you mention if she has any indication of further bleeding, she should be aware of what happened.
Are there any sources that discuss the idea of abstaining from tashmish while staining on colored underwear? What is the earliest source? Is there any machlokes on this matter?
while I am not aware of any early source, this is a widespread psak among morei horaah
which is more practical advice then halacha [although it is based on very halachic concerns]
So, ultimately it’s up to each person to decide to follow the advice & would not be considered lax in halacha in any way if he / she chooses to disregard the advice?
see Beis Yosef Y:D 183 that one has an Biblical obligation to avoid marital relations which have reasonable cause for a doubt that they will lead to a Kares prohibition
So it seems like we have gone from saying “is more practical advice then halacha [although it is based on very halachic concerns]” to a dioraisa obligation to be poreish?
kind of; in our case the woman has a full cheskas tahara and no clear leidas hasafek, in addition this issue is not found in earlier sources [probably because the nature of women used to be very different], so while we have found “halachic precedent” to be careful and mindful of the situation and to abstain, it’s hard to call it a clear cut obligation, but the “minhag hamorim” [standard psak of rabbanim] is certainly well founded. i understand this remains a somewhat grey area, but in the halachic process this is sometimes what we have to work with, so yes it remains sound halachic advice which you can’t ignore
Ok, yaasher koach!
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