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Halachos when a relative is sitting Shiva in a differant city


I live in Yerushalyim – my father is siting shiva in NY for his brother – what halachos apply to me during the week of shiva?


If you have Sephardi minhagim then you don’t have any special halachos. If you are Ashkenazi, then you don’t take hot showers like the nine days, and you don’t go to simchas (except for the wedding of a relative – which is permitted) until after shabbos.


Y:D 374-6, Taz ibid 2, Shut Shar Eprayim 100, Pnei Boruch 9-11, Divrei Sofrim 22-20, Shemiras Shabbos Khilchoso 65-21 .

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  1. the minhag is to be maikel totally – see aruch hashulchan 374 – 16, and hagahos yad shaul there
    the psak given here is a big kula in kavod shabbos, it is hard enough to justify not showering during the nine days
    certainly here we should not be mevatel dina degemara [rechitza bechamin] for a minhag that has long been batel

    1. I wrote what I wrote because this is what I was mekabel from my Rabbeim, see the sources that I quoted, (all after the Aruch Hashulchan), If your minhag is not to then stick to it.
      I wrote that it is like the nine days. Many people havethe minhag that on erev shabbos during the nine days they do take a shower on erev shabbos.

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