Question:
Our custom at home is that usually I light but my wife does not. I also have a 5 yr old daughter that lights. This week Monday and Tuesday I may come back home later than 9pm. My wife would be home then but my daughter would be sleeping. Should I have my wife wait for me and just have my daughter light for herself (chinuch), or should my wife light for me earlier?
I live on a high floor and I do not light any where outside of my apartment.
Answer:
It is better for your wife to wait for you and light when you get home. The reason for this is that even if you are lighting inside the house, however if there are people in surrounding buildings that are also tall you will have pirsumei nisa that way. Even if no one else will be able to see your candles besides your immediate family, it is still better that you light the candles together with your wife, than for her to light the candles when you are not there. The reason is because you wife will appreciate it better that you be home at the time of lighting the candles, and it will contribute to the shalom bayis. The fact that your daughter won’t see them, is not as important as the above consideration. Regarding pisumei nisa, you will have it because your wife can see the candles.
Sources:
M:B 672-11, Aruch Hashulchan ibid 7, R’ M. Feinstein zt”l in Shmattsa D’moshe 672-1, Emes L’yackov from R’ Y. Kaminetzsky zt”l 678- ftnt. 593, Kovetz Halachos (Chanukah) 3-7.
