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Aveilus Questions

Question:

In the harachamans in betnching, I usually add in es avi v’es aimi. My father has just passed away, can I still include him in the harachaman?

Also, someone told me that when toiveling in the mikvah, you can add an extra dip for the neshama of someone deceased as a zechus for their neshama. Is that correct? I’ve been dipping three times, can I add an extra one.

Answer:

“Hamakom yinachem eschem b’toch shar aveili ztion v’yerushalayim”.

Regarding our question about continuing to mention your father in the harchamans, it isn’t the custom to mention one’s parent after they pass on. The reason it isn’t the custom, most probably is because mentioning them in the harachamons is not going to help them. There are numerous things that a child can do for a parent, such as learning mishnayos or saying tehillim as an illuy nishama.

Regarding toveling an extra time in the mikvah, there is such an idea. A Rov told me that it is written in the sefer Divrei Chaim V’shalom, (although I have seen the sefer) that one of the Munkatcher Rebbes wrote in his tzavah, that (his talmidim or chasidim) should tovel in the mikvah an extra time and have him in mind. He  writes there that although there is no source for this, but he is the source!

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