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Dating women who are in the process of converting into Ortodox Judaism


Dear Rabbi,

2 months ago I met the most kind, intelligent and beautiful women I have ever met in my life.

We started dating and we fell in love. However, during our second date she mentioned that her father is Jewish, but her mother isn’t. She also mentioned that she is now in the process of converting into orthodox Judaism. As of this writing, she is already in the conversion process for 7 months.

After the second date I researched whether I am halachically allowed to date her and I found on a site that it is prohibited by Shulhan Arukh to date someone who is in the process of converting, because this can lead the Bet Din to cancel her conversion, as by halacha, it would be possible for me to become an incentive for her to convert instead of her converting because of her love to Hashem.

Her Bet Din told her that she can date Jewish men as long as they follow the covenant fully (which is what I am already doing now).
She is following an orthodox conversion and is now keeping shmirat negia.

Can you please answer my question.
I do not want to take the risk of marrying with someone who is not Jewish, but at the same time, I do not want to lose a person with whom I fell in love with deeply and loves me back.

What should I do? am I still able to see her? Is there any way for me to not become an incentive for her to convert? if so, what are the restrictions?
I feel hopeless and terrified to lose her.


It really question here is which Bais Din is she doing the conversion. If it is a reputable Bais Din, and their conversions are acceptable, then you can rely on the expertise of the rabbonim of the Bais Din regarding this issue, the same way you are relying on them for he validity of the actual conversion. However if the Bais Din is not a reputable one, then the person you are dating should strongly consider switching to a reputable Bais Din in order for her conversion to be universally accepted..


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