What counts as sinning with intent to do teshuva? I used to do it a lot and usually it was because I was obsessed with teshuva and trying to force myself into doing actually teshuva instead of playing games with it. Or because I twisted up the concepts in my mind so badly that I couldn’t even understand them properly anymore. Sometimes I just wanted to do a sin but I couldn’t ever NOT think about teshuva because teshuva is always on my mind 24/7 since I was a little girl, maybe 5 years old. So because of that was EVERY sin a sin with intent to do teshuva? What can I do about it now? I still struggle with these teshuva mind games.
This that it says that if a person sins with the intent of doing teshuva afterwards, that he isn’t given the opportunity to do teshuva, the reason is that shomayim will make it hard for him to do teshuva. It does not mean that the person can do it at all. In your case you obviously have done teshuva. Regarding your obsession with teshuva, I would suggest that you speak with a therapist about it