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Permanent damage to myself because of my sins


If a person permanently damaged their own abilities, either trough drug use or failing to address a medical/mental health condition, and now they are permanently changed by their mistakes, are they held accountable? I will never be the same as I was before. My brain is damaged from it. I can still be basically okay, but I’ll never have the same mental abilities (memory, concentration and focus, intelligence). I struggle with things that used to be very easy for me and there are things I’ll probably never be able to do anymore so I have to give up those goals. Will Hashem judge me for this? What should I do?


What H-shem will do we can’t know, what we do know is that getting stuck on the past for things that you can not help at this point is nothing but yetzer hora. Our job is to look to the future and move beyond the past, that is what teshuva is all about. Therefore you should try not to be busy with such thoughts. as a side point we don’t know H-shem’s plan, but there are times when it appears that a person made a mistake, and it really s a part of the big plan that H-shem has for this person. we see this regarding Yosef Hatzaddik, that it appears like he made a mistake by aggrevating his brothers, and causing them to sell him,and take him awway from his father. The truth really was that it was all part of H-shem’s master plan. Therefore don’t occupy yourself with such thoughts, and just keep looking to improving yourself in the future.


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