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Shalom Rabbi,

I am not a very observant Jew, but my wife and I try to keep most of taharat hamishpacha.
She is G-d willing going to have a baby soon. I have read that she will be in Nidda state until she can get a clean week and then use a mikva. And this usually takes almost two months. While a regular two week Nidda is hard enough for us and we often end up touching, two months of no touching just isn’t going to happen. Can we just do the usual two weeks and then have her use the mikva?


You get lot of credit, that although it is not easy for you to keep these halachot, you still do it. You will be rewarded for it, and it will also help your shalom bayit, and H-shm should send you much happiness and you should have much nachat from our children.

The idea with taharat hamishacha is not abstain for two weeks, but to abstain until after she actually goes to the mikva, which is only after she stops bleeding and counts a week of clean days. On a practical level, a woman that is postpartum has tremendous hormonal changes going on, and she will most probably not be up to it, therefore you wouldn’t want it either, as you don’t want to hurt her. Aside from the fact that she is sore and bleeding and she needs time to heal, and you doctor will most probably not allow relations.

Keep strong, it isn’t easy, but for those that put in the effort, G-d will help you, and you will see that this period will pass quickly, and before you know it, it will have passed. It will make things easier if you adopt a “one day at a time” approach, and before you know it, it will pass.

Keep strong and best wishes.


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