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I’ve notice people spying on me in shul and beis medrash either because of shiduchim or to find out about me since I come from outside the community. People sitting right beside me just to figure me out or find out if I know how to learn. A particular person literally stalking me and making me uncomfortable and getting his friends and family to do the same. It’s making me sick. I walk into shul thinking someone might be looking at me. I even had to go a a psychologist and spend a lot of money. I understand sometimes you might think someone looking at you but they aren’t really, but in my case I know for sure. What does Halacha have to say about this, and what if it’s not for shidduchim and just out of curiosity but it’s invading my privacy. I feel it’s immoral, naturally you notice things about others and get to know each other, but sitting right beside someone with the explicit intention of spying on him, does this guy really know who to learn, or during davening etc etc…


This sounds like it is very stressful, and disturbing, and it is a serious problem. This is because it is impossible to know when someone is actually looking at you and when they are really minding their own business. When you are in a public place, it is not possible that people should not notice you etc., and more often than not, they are really not concentrating on you, even though they may have a fleeting second of curiosity. Since this issue really bothers you, and is causing you a lot of stress, I would recommend that you see a therapist that can help you deal with these feeling correctly so you won’t feel so stressed out whenever you go to shul.

Best Wishes


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