Hi, I set aside maaser money for a relative of mine whom I knew can use the money, as she was a divorced mother of 5 with barely making ends meet. I failed to give her the envelope of money for quite some time, and before I knew it she was engaged then married to her new husband. This new husband has a job as well. I don’t actually know if they are still struggling or if they are doing just fine now that there are two incomes. I know of other people that can for sure use this money, it’s been verified to me that they need it. Can I give it to them? Thank you
If you would have said that you are giving the money to her, then you would have to give her the money because it already belongs to her “amiraso l’gavoa kmesiraso l’hedoit” . However from your question it seems that you didn’t say anything, but only separated the money for her. Therefore what you are left with is a neder to tzedakah. Therefore the best thing for you to do now, is to ask her if she still needs the money. If you can’t ask her, then what you should do is be matir neder, not on the giving of the tzedakah, but on the part of the neder that it would be given to this woman. Then you can give it to another needy person.
R’ Leshinsky, R’ Y. Berkowitz shlit”a.