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A friend asked me to get a negel vasser set for him (he will pay me back). I would like to give it to him as a matana, but I am afraid that he won’t want it as a matana (one who hates gifts will live, plus he might just be embarrassed about taking a matana). What should I do? May I lie to him about the price and under-charge him? May I insist (in a nice way) that he take it as a matana, or just pay me a dollar?


If you want to give your friend a present, by all means do so. If you are afraid that he won’t take it, maybe give it to him in a way that will make it easier for him to accept it, such as giving it to him, and have him open it and hold it first. Then afterwards tell him, “by the way, I would like to give you a present, and please accept this from me”. He most probably will not refuse it. Lying to him about it defeats the purpose of what you are doing. If you want to buy him a present you are doing it as part of your relationship with him. To lie about the price isn’t going to bring any shalom, nor make him feel more positive towards you.

Best wishes

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  1. I did wanted to do the same thing for a friend once and just took the price tag from a cheaper item and placed it on the item. I let him jump to his own conclusions and i was happy to get less. I’m assuming this was Muttar?

    1. Doing the opposite, meaning to switch the tag for a more expensive price would be genievas daas, because the friend would feel more indebted to you, but this way is fine.

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