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avak lashon hara


There is someone (a rebbi) that I used to eat by on Shabbos. However, I no longer eat by him for certain reasons (having to do with frumkeit). Recently, he met me and demanded to know where I eat on Shabbos and why I no longer come to him. I feel that if I tell him, he might be feel animosity towards my new hosts who “stole his guest.” What should I do when he demands to know who I am eating by? When i mentioned one name, he demanded to know “who else”? Could I just say it is none of his business?


This is a sticky situation, because you have to talk and answer him respectfully, while staying careful not to say anything that will cause ill feeling. One option is to answer a specific question vaguely, and then if he asks again, again answer vaguely. He should get the hint that you ae not comfortable talking about it. Another option is to eventually say that you are not comfortable taking about this or change the subject and ask him a halchic question ect. (you always have interesting questions to discuss). Even if it is awkward to change the subject, he will get the hint in a respectful manner.

Best wishes

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