Question:

I was discussing with another bachur who we can go to for a Shabbos seuda. When the name of a certain person came up, I said that I won’t go there because I only eat by people who are bnei torah. Is this lashon hara? I have nothing against that person, but I am makpid b”n to eat seudas only by people who are bnei torah and that person is not.

Answer:

It sounds to me like it was lashon hora, because it is saying something derogatory about that person. It is nice that you want to be makpid not to eat anywhere but bnei torah, but we always have to be careful when doing a chumra, that it should not cause us to be lax in another area. One of the big mashgichim of the previous generation once said, (R’ Dessler or R’ E. Lopian zt”l)  that most of the time, when a person takes on a chumra in an area of bein adom l’makom, he has to make sure that it will not become a “kulah” regarding bein adom lechaveiro.

Best wishes

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