- Does a woman have to say Hagomel for a stillborn baby boy? If yes, if it is after 30 days, does she still need to say it? If yes, how?
- Can she say it in front of her husband?
- Does she have to go to shul after 40 days and does her husband have to get an aliyah?
1. A woman that had a stillborn has to thank H-shem, because see did go through the danger of the labor and birth. In general though women do not say Hagomel, i.e. after flying, or after being sick. One of the reasons is because it is not in line with a woman’s tznius to make the bracha in front of ten men. There are those who have the minhag to make an exception to this for a woman after birth, because she has visitors, and it is possible for her to do it at home. However says R’ S. Z., that after a stillborn, since the woman doesn’t have visitors etc. she doesn’t say it. (There are others that do have the minhag that a woman after birth does say Hagomel from the ezras nashim and ten men answer, but it is not the practice for a stillborn).
A women that is saying Hagomel may say it even more than thirty days after birth, especially in our present situation where the shuls weren’t open. Additionally the time that she is supposed to say it is not counting time from after the birth, but from when she are feeling better, up and around. Regarding your situation it is most probably not even after thirty days yet from when you are feeling better, so you are not late at all.
What may be more practical for you, is the minhag on many circles that the women fulfills her thanking H-shem by going to shul (if she can, but in our present situation, the Ezras Nashim are not open) or otherwise hearing her husband getting an aliya. When he says “Borchu es H-shem…” he has her in mind, and after she answers Boruch H-shem hamivorach… she has in mind to thank H-shem. If it is not from her husband’s aliya, she can answer it even from someone else’s aliya. It can also be done by hearing the husband says Borchu as the chazzan and answering “Borchu es …”. If this can’t be done, she can also answer it from someone else who is the chazzan. Other communities have the custom that the woman goes to shul and says kedusha with the tzibbur.
2. If a woman is saying Hagomel with a bracha, it should be in front of ten men, and not just in front of her husband, because Hagomel is meant to be said in public, meaning in front of a inyan. However as stated above there are other ways for her to express her gratitude that she has recovered.
3. The woman’s husband should still get an aliya after 40 days (for a boy, and 80 for a girl). To represent the korban yoledes that the woman has to bring.
Magen Avrohgom 219, Be’er Heitiv 219-1, Eliyahu Rabba 219-5, Sharei Efrayim 4- 28, Betzel Hachochma 7-78, Hisorirus Teshuva 1-59, Minchas Shlomo 2-4 (31), Aruch Hashuchan 219-6, Rivivos Efrayim 5-170(1), Toras Hayoledes end of Chap. 62, Shurie Hagaon R’ Eliyasiv zt”l Brachos pg. 641, Aliba Dhilchoso 37 pg.19 second column.