Question:
For kiddush and havdalah should you hold the cos in the palm of your hand? If so is it a chiyuv or just a praiseworthy thing to do? If it is uncomfortable for someone, can they not?
What is the reason for this?
Answer:
According to Shulchan Aruch there is no obligation on how the cos has to be held. According to kabbalah, there is a preference to how it should be held. Some say that it should be held in one’s palm, which his fingers around it facing upward, (M:B 183-15 in the name of the Shela) others though (Eliyahu Rabba 183-7) say it should be on the fingers themselves. Aruch Hashulchan-5, and Shulchan Aruch Horav- 7 bring both opinions. Also see Kaf Hachayim 183-20.
If it is uncomfortable for you it is not an obligation.
