Question:

I’ve a deep thought question. 40 days before a person is born into the world the heaven decides who will be the partner of whom. In addition, it also depends on the person actions, if they’re deserving of one another. For instance, if A becomes bad in life and B who is good (the match 40 days) will be switched. This also holds true, vice versa. What about observant Jews, like myself. If I was secular and than became an awakened soul… then what happens with my soulmate. 40 days before I was born my soulmate could’ve been secular or was he always observant. Did the heaven change my soulmate? Or did they wait for a change from me to be made in order to achieve of my deserving – whom remained at hold. I’ve heard many rabbis say of how actions of a person highly counts. I’ve also heard of many people delayed of time and age (in finding their match) for change in actions to be made. In my situation, it’s a full lifestyle change not a couple of actions. For those reasons expressed, I found this question to be a bit of a fascinating response. Thank you.

Answer:

Both ideas are correct. There is an idea of one’s zivug according to the person’s actions, and one that is predestined. There is a gemora that says that in a way, this is what H-shem is “busy” with – matching up people. It would be a fascinating thing to see- backstage, how H-shem arranges everyone’s shidduch. It is true that there are times when one partner will wait for the other partner to be ready, such to be old enough, emotionally mature, or spiritually developed, so that the match between the two will be a success.

In your situation, where you made a lot of changes, IY”H H-shem will send you a shidduch that will help you find happiness, companionship, and to be able to continue growing, greater and higher, You should also be zoche to have a house full of wonderful children.

Best wishes

 

Tags: matchmaking shidduchim

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