Question:
About 2 months ago, I got a get in Israel. The rabbi told us at the end we are not permitted to be in seclusion together or else we’d have to do the ceremony over. My ex was not so careful. Once he came in at night to put the baby to sleep in her crib when he was dropping her off. It didn’t take long probably less than a minute. Another time I was really sick and incapacitated dealing with a severe panic attack from a medication I took. He came in to take care of the baby for a few minutes because I couldn’t, then left with her. I think the door and window were open but it is basement level so only if someone walks down the steps can they see in that far. Maybe there was another time. I can’t remember. I asked him in general not to come in but he didn’t understand the severity of the consequences probably because he doesn’t speak Hebrew and didn’t understand the rabbi when he told us that.
Does that mean we need to do the ceremony over again? If Gd forbid we have to, could I do it privately and not through the rabbanut in Israel?
Answer:
In you instance you would not need another get, as there were no witnesses that you were in yichud. This doesn’t mean that was done was permitted, it wasn’t. It just means that although yichud between the two of you is a biblical prohibition, which is a sin in of itself, there is still no need for a second get. As a rule your husband has no business entering your apartment for any reason! This should be made crystal clear to him. You also have to be careful to minimize you contact and conversations with you husband, to a minimum. I understand that having a small baby does mean that there will be some level of rapport, and contact between the two of you, however it has to be minimized. The Shulchan Aruch also says that a person is not allowed to live on the same dead end street as their ex.
Best wishes
Sources:
E:H 119-8,9, Aruch Hashulchan ibid 30.
