Thank you for providing this wonderful service to Klal Yisroel.
I have a 17 y.o. daughter that unfortunately is challenged in her observance of mitzvos. It is unclear to me her relationship with HaShem yisborach and to what extent she is Shomer Torah and Mitzvos. She does not do melochos on Shabbos openly. Her dress is not 100% and even if she technically meets the halachic requirements she clearly and I believe purposely looks “off” as she does not want to associate herself in any way with the Charedi community.
She is currently in the house and there are a number of problems. My question is that she does not wash negel vasser in the morning and she spends a lot of time in the kitchen. It has become an issue of contention as she will prepare food and give it to her younger siblings. What is the halacha in reference to someone touching food, etc. with hands not washed properly today?
I know the inyun of “shivta” is a machloches amongst the Rishonim. Is there enough of a danger here to make this an issue? We tried a while back and she refused and we dropped the issue as she was cooperating in other areas.
I thank you again.
This is a tremendous difficulty to you, your wife and family, and in a number of ways. Essentially we do not touch food before washing our hands, and if we do touch food it should preferably be washed off. However there are a number of situations where this can’t be done, such as in your situation, or in store or factory in the food industry, which has non religious workers. In such cases the halacha is that the food is not forbidden to eat. If it is possible to somehow get your daughter to wash the dishes or in any other way wash her hands, (even if it isn’t with a kil) that would be better, however you can not cause any friction between you and your daughter. Therefoere you will rely on the halacha that the food is permitted to eat.
May Hashem help you that you daughter should come to realize the beauty of doing mitzvos, and with a lot of love IY”H she will come around.
M:B 5-14, Piskei Teshuvos 4-10.