When chazal say that ein isha nisaberes mibiyah rishona, is this meant as a 100% rule?
On our marriage it was not clear whether things were really consummated the first night or not. As a chasan I maintained it was not, but really did not have experience to know. The rav we asked regarding dam besulim and the need to separate wanted to go lchumra but I told him I really did not think we had done it.
He reluctantly permitted us to try again. However, it seems then that my wife got pregnant from the first biyah because a few days later her pregnancy test was positive. This is causing me to feel as though we have a ben niddah unless the statement of chazal is not meant as a 100% physical rule. Can you advise on this? It is weighing heavily on my conscience.
Mazel Tov on your marriage!
The rule that אין אשה מתעברת מביאה ראשונה does not apply today, as written in the Noda BeYehuda (Even Haezer Mahadura Kama 22). Whatever the reason is, in today’s world this is a fact.
(Some explain that the reason for this phenomenon is because in contemporary times women marry long after the age of 12, unlike the time of the Gemara. As a person grows, the opening in the besulim becomes larger and therefore less blood is released when their marriage is consummated. As a result, there is less blood to interfere with the possibility of pregnancy.)
As a side note, ben Nidda seemingly applies to “Nidda” not dam besulim. One way of understanding this (from a hashkafa perspective) is that menstrual bleeding is considered a form of death, as an opportunity to conceive a baby was not utilized, and therefore the bleeding renders the woman temaiya (טמאה). This does not apply to dam besulim.
Due to the above, your child is clearly not a ben Nidda.
Wishing you much hatzlacha