One spouse is newly frum and the other is not yet observant.
What if there is some aspect within Kashrus (namely, refraining from putting hot kosher things down on a non kosher surface) that really bothers the spouse that is not yet observant to the extent that this is an issue for Shalom Bayit.
What is the newly frum spouse to do? How can Shalom Bayit be preserved while still observing Kashrus in this case?
Shalom bayit when one spouse is frum and the other isn’t is very tricky, and it really needs the continuous guidance of a Rov of kiruv professional, to help the frum spouse balance the two correctly. As a general rule, the frum spouse will have to work extra hard to boost the overall shalom bayit in order to counteract the times when real issues will arise.
Here are some ideas that might help you. It might help if you buy some nice trivets that the pots can be put onto when being placed on the counter. You also might consider koshering the counter, (although I don’t know what kind of counter you have, and if it can be koshered), this way you wouldn’t have the issue of putting things down on it.
May Hashem help you with everything that you need.