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Smartphone in dirah (Shidduchim)


A bochur who I learn with in EY (in a top yeshiva) is a yeshivishe guy. His parents are more baalabatish and his mother wanted him to come with a working phone as we entered quarantine the first 2 weeks of the zman so she gave him her old smartphone (filtered) which he used (and still uses) to call his parents.

In the meantime he got a regular (kosher) phone here in EY and he never takes his mother’s smartphone outside because he thinks it’s a bizayon for ppl to see a ben Torah with a smartphone.

If anyone asks me about this bochur for shidduch info if this bochur has a smartphone what should I answer? It could possibly ruin his shidduchim if I answer yes and since this phone is his mother’s and not even his, I want to know if I could just answer no. What about if they ask what type of phone does he have?


According to what you are describing, if someone asks you regarding shidduchim you do not have to offer the information. When a person asks shidduch information, they want to know the level that the boy is holding at, namely is he a “smartphone person” or not, and according to what you are describing, he isn’t.  If the person specifically asks you, “Does he have a smartphone”? Then you should tell him that he has a smartphone that his mother wants him to keep, and he only uses it when calling his mother. The Chofetz Chaim says that if the person asking the information is close to you, then the toeles information can be offered. In this case however you would only be allowed to offer the information if you know that to this person it is a big blemish even if the boy has a smartphone under such conditions.

Best wishes



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