My question is as follows, I have these thoughts that if “xyz.. ” happens then I’ll do “abc”, do these thoughts mean anything in halacha (kabalh blev, neder) and what can I do to calm my nerves down? Is the mesiras modah I made m’vattel these thoughts? Should I say in front of 3 people that my real intention is not to be mkabel anything and theses thoughts are meaningless?
Thank you for your help.
In general a kabala blev is not valid and is not binding, except for a strong commitment to give a certain tzedakah, or for being mekabel a taanis. Otherwise it isn’t binding, and you don’t have to worry about it. In general, what might help your nerves is by realizing and telling yourself, “this is only yetzer hora, to get me nervous”. When you have such thoughts, the way to get rid of them is not to “not think about them” because that is also thinking about it. Rather simply divert you thoughts to something else, and automatically you won’t be busy thinking about these things. and I am going to think about other things”
O:CH 562-6, Sharei Teshuva O:CH end of siman 460, Aruch Hashulchan Y:D 258-39, Dovev Meisharim 3-85, Minchas Shlomo Nedarim pg. 51, Horav C. Kanievsky shlit”a (in Shekel Hakodesh -Shekalim 1-7), says that the Mishna Berura also holds this way 563-3, and Shar Hatzion ibid 4.