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Living with a non religious relative


A close family member (17 years old) who was in a bad situation moved in with me recently. I know I am doing the right thing, providing a safe stable place for this person and being them mekarev. The person is not frum anymore. They agreed to respect my standards in the kitchen etc before they moved in and I trust them, but other family members who disapprove of the situation keep telling me things and I don’t know what is halacha and what is permitted. For example, can this person cook in my kitchen? All food and utensils are kosher of course, and we usually prepare food together so I am usually around. I feel like they would be very hurt if I suddenly said they can’t turn on the stove etc. If this leads to them moving out I will feel guilty for pushing them away and causing them to for sure eat non kosher. We also cook 98% parve if that makes a difference. They are respectful of my beliefs, participate in Shabbos meals, aren’t mechallel Shabbos in front of me, dress appropriately etc which reinforces that they will not davke do something. I would appreciate clarity on this.


This is an emotionally difficult and tricky situation, and H-shem should send you much sityata dismaya, and you relative should come to his senses soon in a good way.

Regarding your question, although there is controversy if he is allowed to cook in the kitchen, in your situation you can allow it. He is respectful and he isn’t being mechalel Shabbos in front of you. You don’t have to worry about the food, just you should make sure to have yayin mevushal, (wine that has been cooked).

Best wishes

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