Why was / is HaShem unfair when it comes to psychical appearance, There are people who are stunning and others who are not on the same level based on beauty . Why HaShem did not made everyone equally beautiful and putted beauty in some and not in everyone ? Also why he made them how he liked but these people might suffer from bullying and maybe even not finding a spouse? ( I do believe that he alone rules the universe and I ask in order to know more about his ways and why’s )
You are asking an important question. In fact, let me add to your question. Why is it that some people are smarter than others? Why is it that some people are richer than others? Why is it that some people are born into a great family and others are not? All of these things also don’t seem fair.
Another point has to be raised and that is why are different people created with different talents. Some people are musical and some are not, some have talents in their hands and others don’t. Some people are book smart while others are street smart. In fact, “no two people are created equal”. There are no two people that look the same, think the same, or that have the same set of strengths and weaknesses.
While I cannot claim to understand the incredible depth of Hashem’s creation, and there must be many reasons for this, I would like to mention at least one of them. Judaism believes that each person was created and sent to this world by Hashem in order to accomplish a certain jobs or jobs, and to serve a certain function. For example, men and women weren’t created the same because they have different jobs, in this world, and therefore they were created differently, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, with the strengths and talents needed to do the job they are destined to accomplish. Women are meant to bear children and were given the tools to do so. Women are meant to find favor in the eyes of their husbands, so they were given beauty, women are the ones who primarily raise their children, therefore they were given a more emotional makeup. Men on the other hand are meant to go out and deal with the difficult outside world, which needs more physical strength, a certain toughness, and a makeup that can deal with that.
Even among women themselves, they are many different types. Some women are the homey type, and like cooking, baking, sewing etc. while others want to be lawyers and doctors. Some women want to be social workers and work with people, while others like accounting jobs.
Then there are thousands of different types of creations that Hashem made. Plants, animals, fish, rodents, birds, etc. and each type has its strengths and weaknesses. Not all animal are as fast as a cheetah, as a lion, tall as a giraffe. Nor can they fly or swim in the water. The reason is because each creation has its place, it’s job, and was given its tools to accomplish that job. All of these creations come together to form a tremendous orchestra, with each instrument making a different sound, and together they blend to make the most beautiful music, specifically because of the wide array of instruments. The various parts of creation each service each other to form a tremendously complicated mesh and system, with each creation being put into its specific place.
But there is more to it than that. The Midrash says that before each neshoma was sent down to this world, it was shown what is going to happen to it, it’s difficulties, trials, goals, etc. It was then asked if it consents to come to this world under such conditions, and it isn’t sent to this world unless it agrees. The reason it agrees, even though many of us go through hard times is because in the world of truth the neshoma sees what it has to accomplish, and it also sees that it is these very difficulties that will bring it to it’s goal, and therefore it readily agrees.
Yes, there are people that were created looking pretty and nice, and they have an easier time getting married. That is because this is what they are meant to do. They may be given extra beauty because this is part of this job or part of their test in this world to see if they will use it correctly. Other people were given other circumstances, because the goal that they have to accomplish is a different one. Others are specifically given difficulties, because this is what they have to atone for, for a myriad of reasons.
There is a moshul given from the Chofetz Chaim, of a certain neshoma that came to the heavenly court, it did many mitzvos, but unfortunately, it spoke a lot of lashon hora. They wanted to let the neshoma into gan eden, but because of all the lashon hora it spoke it could not be let in. The neshoma pleaded to be given another chance to go down to this world, and this time it will be more careful. Because the neshoma did so many mitzvos, it was granted it’s wish, that it can come down again for another chance. The neshoma then complained, “but what is going to happen this time, I might fall into the same pattern again”. So the heavenly court told him that if he wants he can be created deaf, and this way it will be much easier for him to abstain from speaking lashon hora. It readily agreed and was sent down to this world. While in this world it was hard managing without hearing, but this was in fact the whole purpose of it’s coming to this world in the first place. Then the neshoma came back to heaven, accomplished its goal, and was able to enjoy eternal happiness. It is the same withal of us. We came here to accomplish a spiritual goal, and we were given exactly the right conditions that WE need to get the job done. (See Rashi Rosh Hashana 11a D:H L’daatom, seee also Raberinu Bachya Devorim 22-8 who explains this.)
To sum things up. One thing we know, Hashem is unendingly kind, and He sets each person up according to what is best for him/her. Eventually we will get to the next world and we will understand Hashem’s creation better, but for the meantime, it will have to suffice, the belief that we are in the best of hands.