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Kibud Av V’aim and Choosing a Minyan


I want to daven with my father, even though it isn’t the type of minyan I would prefer. However, I know that at the minyan he davens at there are people there that are mechalel Shabbos, for example, they drive to shul. Often on Shabbos, the only reason that we have a minyan is because some people drove to shul. I feel very uncomfortable with this, because I feel the only reason I am saying, Barchu, Kaddish, etc. is because someone was mechalel Shabbos. It is, also, very common for someone that drove to shul to get an aliyah or even be the baal tefillah.

My father doesn’t mind if I go somewhere else, and he never asked me to go there with him. However, I would prefer to be with my father, and even if it wasn’t my type of shul, I would still go because it is my father. However, with the mechalel Shabbos issue, I am not sure what to do.



Thank you for your question.

What you should do is to go the regular shul and daven with a proper minyan. The mechalel Shabbos issue is a real issue. Counting in a person who is mechalel Shabbos in public, is problematic, and if the minyan is relying on them, you might just not have a minyan. Therefore, you should daven in a shul that has a proper minyan. Additionally, your father didn’t ask that you accompany him to the shul. It could be that he enjoys your company, you will be able to do kibbud av v’em after davening.

Best wishes


M:B 55-46,



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