Question:
Hi Rav, I have a unique situation. My Mother passed away on Tu BiShvat this year, Sunday night. We buried my Mother in Israel on Tuesday night. We had a levaya where my Family attended in USA. My Father (Badel LaChaim) stayed in USA and started Shiva then with some of my siblings. I along with my other siblings went to Israel. Some said we should count Shiva from my Father’s start. As he starting sitting at the USA levaya. Others said those who go to Israel keep Shiva later. From the Kevura. In the end we all kept the Shiva when my Father started. Anyway. Now comes WHEN is the Shloshim? Is it different for those who stayed in USA and those who went to Israel? What day or days are for my and their Shloshim? Thank you!
Answer:
Thank you for your question.
There is controversy among the poskim when the shloshim finishes. There are poskim who say that the shloshim is calculated from the day that the avel took leave of the niftar. On the other hand, others say that the shloshim should be kept from the day of the burial, even though some of the aveilim started earlier than that.
Best wishes
Sources:
ט”ז יו”ד ס’ ת”ב סק”ו, ש”ך סק”ה, בה”ט סק”ו, ולחם הפנים ס שע”ו דלענין אבילות מתחיל מסתימת הגולל. ובאמת י”א שהשלושים מתחלת מיום תחילת האבילות, ע’ תפארת למשה ס ת”ב דדין אבילות שלשים תליא מעת שהתחיל להתאבל עיי”ש ולפי”ז אם יש שני אבלים כלו כל אחד לפי זמן שהתחיל האבילות וע’ במשמרת שלום אות ש’ סקל”ח בשם שו”ת תועפת ראם וכ”כ שו”ת לקוטי מנח”י סימן קכ”ז. אמנם הכרעת הפוסקים הוא כט”ז והש”ך.
