May one push off mikvah from Friday night to motzai shabbos if it gives me better menuchas hanefesh? Especially with preparations and time constraints etc? My hefsek was Friday night but I would like to make my day 1 pm bedika counted as my hefsek again. My husband is ok with this I just want to know if it’s ok. It really will effect my Menuchas hanefesh for multiple reasons. Thank you.
Thank you for your question.
It is a mitzva for a woman to go to the mikva on the correct day that she becomes tahor, and it really should not be pushed off, unless there very extenuating circumstances. This is in order to do the mitzva of pru urvu, (even if you already have a girl and a boy). Additionally, although your husband is very nice and he says that he agrees, it is painful and frustrating for him, if you will be pushing of the mikva. Nevertheless, if he does agree we can’t say that it is forbidden.
You are very right, going to the mikva on Friday night is not easy. Between all the Shabbos preparations, and hiding things, getting there and back, when there are people in the street, is a challenge. However, when a person is moser nefesh to do Hashem’s mitzva, Hashem will IY”H pay you back with wonderful children, that you will have much nachas from them. The difficulty will only last for a little bit, but then you will IY”H be very happy with Hashem’s reward. I once heard a story of a woman that had to go to the mikva, on Friday night, but she had a real issue, she was making Shabbos sheva brachos that night! She didn’t know what to do because the other side might notice it, and what will she do about her makeup etc. Nevertheless, she decided that she is going to do her mitzva the proper way, and IY”H it will work out. Against all odds she did go to the mikva, and when she got to the mikva she was in for a great surprise, the “other side” was also there… (What a great shidduch!!)
Getting back to your question, if at all possible you should go on time, and you and your husband should look for solutions to make you as calm as possible. Sometimes it might help to talk to your Rov about it, and he might be able to give you some extra guidance.
As a side point, when making a hefsek, it should preferably be done close to shkiya, a little bit before sunset, and not at 1 pm, which is a number of hours before that. Even the bedikos of the seven days should be done towards the end of the day and not at 1pm, unless there are extenuating circumstances.
Another point, once you have made a successful hefsek, you can’t make another one to push the time off, unless you have seen something. Therefore, making another hefsek now will not change anything.
Additionally, if you make your hefsek on Sunday then your mikva night is Sunday night, not Motzei Shabbos. The rule is that we begin to count the seven clean days from the day after the hefsek is done. Therefore, it is always on the same day as the hefsek.