My late Mom z”l passed away 01/03/2018, in a year with 1 Adar.
My brother’s Rabbi maintains that we should observe the Adar Aleph date if we are Ashkanazim, which we are, but the Chevra Kadisha in Johannesburg has advised me to observe the 2nd date, Adar Bet.
My late Mom passed away on the day of Purim.
What should we do ?
Thank you for your question.
What the Johannesburg Chevra Kaddisha told you was the Sefardi custom, and they indeed observe the second Adar. The Ashkenazi custom is like your brother’s Rov told him. It is noteworthy, that even according to the Ashkenazi minhag there are those who say to observe the both Adars. R’ Eliyashiv zt”l held that during the first Adar the child should fast, be the chazzan and say kaddish. However during the second one he should say kaddish and if possible, and it won’t take the away from others, that he should also daven as the chazzan.
O:CH 561-6, Tziunei Halacha pg. 575.