Question:
Hi rabbi, I have an elderly mother who had a stroke 7 years ago. I pretty much gave up my life to take care of her and try and rehabilitate her. At this point she is 81 years old and the direction of her sickness. Short of a miracle, seems to be pretty much going in one direction. Am I allowed (seeing that I am in charge of her affairs legally) to start to sell some of her clothing and her items. She lives in a huge house and I want to start downsizing. I think that it makes sense at this point. But I want to know if there is any kabbalistic or halachic reasons why I can’t do so now כבוד הורים? She has dementia.
Answer:
Hello,
What you are doing for your mother is a tremendous mitzva, even if your mother is not capable of acknowledging it and thanking you. Hashem will IY”H repay you in this world and the next for the tireless effort that you put into your elderly mother.
As far as selling her items, unless you want to move her to a different house and you can’t take all of her things there, you shouldn’t sell her items. First of all, as long as she is with us, her belongings belong to her, and without her permission they can’t be sold. Secondly, she most probably wouldn’t want them sold, because it would give her a feeling that the family is already preparing for…
I was once in the home of a gadol after his wife passed away, and he wanted the family to wait a little bit, before taking her belongings, as not to give her neshoma a feeling that she is being cleared away. This story is not meant to be taken as halacha, rather to bring out a certain high level of feeling for the other person’s feelings.
Best wishes
